I fostered Claude in 2006 and she really tested all the experiences I had as a fosterer. She came from North London from a charity I helped there sometimes. A petrified feral who was also heavily pregnant. She just needed somewhere to be to have her kittens. I could never touch Claude or get close to her but I did my best to reassure her and be there for her.She went into labour late one Saturday night and by the morning it was obvious something was wrong as she'd not had any kittens. I took her to an emergency vet where my worst fears were confirmed. As she was only a kitten herself (five months old) her body wasn't ready to have kittens and they'd got stuck trying to come out. Sadly three kittens were still born but a fourth lived. I named the kitten Maggie and she struggled through for two weeks before passing away quietly.
I feel like I owe it to Maggie to write about her, she's the kitten that has affected me more than no other that I've fostered. Most kittens I am lucky and they pull through but it wasn't meant to be for her and I still blame myself now.
Claude was spayed and returned to her feral colony. I always take comfort it that Claude won't have to go through it all again and also if she'd not been in my care, she would have probably died herself.
2 comments:
*hugs* I know what you mean, as I have had several litters that had a similar affect on me.
I just remind myself (and I hope this helps you in some small way) that I should not blame myself. I was there to do what I could and with out me they wouldn't have even had the chance they did have. They would have been born (or not born) outside which would have led to an even worse fate.
I hope you are proud of all that you are able to do, and remember you went into this knowing you couldn't save them all.
Thanks Connie, that means a lot. I try to remember all the ones who have made it but it's always the ones I have lost that leave the biggest heartache. With Claude I can at least take comfort that I saved her.
Do you foster too?
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